Leaving, well, a loan

Parting is - oh - such sweet sorrow,

Can't believe I am going tomorrow.

My rail fare's quite pricey,

So if I ask you nicely,

Have you got fifty quid I could borrow?

The internet is U.S.

"Howdy, Nigel Hurll!" says my Wordpress.

This is just a big pile of bird mess;

The whole USA

Should be tidied away

'til the internet's cleared of its turdness

Mal Content

Well, this isn't going so well,

And the website's beginning to smell;

Wordpress seems unable

To format a table

Although I know HTML

Brush Strokes

Michelangelo did the ceiling of Sistine,

Tidied up and then left the site pristine,

But a lack of restraint

Made him use too much paint

And it dripped on a tourist called Christine

Maria callous

Got a mortgage? Get the public to pay;
Join Parliament, have a few grand away;
Make a false application,
Screw over the nation:
Home free*, but say sorry, okay?


*see what I did there?

Shining Example

A Citroën C4 Picasso

Could improve with a coating of Brasso

Add a soupçon of lard

But don't rub too hard

Or you may well end up in El Paso

Dyson With Death

Despite a side-stepping manoeuvre,

My auntie was killed by her hoover;

She was living in France

When the flex snagged her pants

Now her statue's on show in the Louvre.